Saturday, 21 February 2015

The funniest conversation I've overheard in a long time

Yesterday, my boyfriend and I were on the train coming back from Purley making painfully slow progress through the grimness that is south London.  We were seated at one of those double seats with a table.

Not the actual seats

When the train stopped at East Croydon, two girls got on and sat opposite us.  They started chatting about this and that.  I recognised one of them as a minor model from somewhere or other.

So far, so whatever.

The conversation then moved onto what food they were going to buy for a party.  

I only hope that my writing skills can do this justice...

Girl on the left:  I think I'm gonna buy a sweetcorn and mange tout salad.  (I think it was sweetcorn, can't be sure)

Girl on the right:  Oh.  (Pause) What's mange tout?

G.o.t.L:  You dunno what mange tout is?

G.o.t.R:  Nah, I've never heard of it.

G.o.t.L:  You must know what mange tout is.

G.o.t.R:  (whispers)  Isn't that a rude word?

G.o.t.L:  What mange?  No, you idiot!  You're thinking of minge.

G.o.t.R:  Oh, yeah.  (Pause)  So what do they look like?

G.o.t.L:   They're kinda flat and green.  Like a really squashed bean but without the pods inside.

G.o.t.R:  No pods!  What's the point of that then?  (Fair point to be honest)

Now I'd gotten to the point where I was biting the inside of my cheek to stop myself laughing out loud.  I looked around the carriage and the three people who were sitting close to us were struggling to suppress their laughter.

G.o.t.L:  (shows the girl on the right her phone)  That's what they look like.

Not the actual image she showed her.

G.o.t.R:  (looks at phone)  Oh them!  Mange (rhyming with man - the adult male) tout.

G.o.t.L:   No, you fool.  Mange (rhyming with man - the adult male) is what dogs get.

Sadly by this point it was our stop and we had to get off.  Just as well, really, because I don't think I could have contained my laughter for much longer.

My only regret is that I didn't lean across the table and go, 'Please can I be friends with you?  Please!'

1 comment:

Coulda shoulda woulda said...

You need to write something about this at more length! It's so funny. Like the modern day Del Boy!


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